InfoSub - The Arrangement Conference

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InfoSheet SubPage - The Arrangement Conference

Ocean Grove Memorial Home
118 Main Avenue, Ocean Grove, New Jersey 07756

Thomas J. Saragusa, Manager
N. J. License No. 4036

VOICE 732-775-0434 - - OGMHognj@aol.com

The Arrangement Conference

One of the first meetings that the funeral director will schedule with the person who is in charge of finalizing funeral arrangements is the Arrangement Conference and although it may be held at any location, it is always best if it is held at the funeral home. Most funeral homes have a special room where the funeral director and the family of the decedent can meet to discuss all the services, options and alternatives for the services that will be provided by the funeral home during the next several days.

At the Arrangement Conference, the funeral director will take the lead and assume the responsibility to provide or arrange for everything that you and the rest of the family chooses to have provided. If the funeral director can't provide a specific service that is requested by the family, he will arrange for and coordinate that and all the services that you request to be provided.

At the time the Arrangement Conference is scheduled, the funeral director will ask you to collect and bring several items or pieces of information to that conference, including, but not limited to:

Vital Statistic Information about the decedent, i.e., such data as date and place of birth, parent's names, Social Security Number.

Cemetery Deed or the best information that is available about the final disposition of the decedent's body.

The Discharge or Separation Papers if the decedent was a Veteran of the U. S. Armed Forces.

Clothing for the decedent (whether or not there will be a wake or viewing). The body of the decedent is usually dressed in his own clothing, although the funeral home is prepared to provide clothing if none is available. In addition to clothing, the funeral home will generally use glasses if the decedent normally wore them.

Any jewelry or emblems that you want used during calling hours or that you want placed on or with the decedent's body at the time of final disposition.

A picture that he can use during the embalming and preparation and another if one is to be released for inclusion in a newspaper notice. (All pictures can be returned to you.)

A list of organizations that are to be mentioned in the newspaper notice along with any details about the decedent's relationship with the organization that are appropriate for the obituary

Information about the decedent's occupation that will be released to the newspapers. If the decedent's employer provides insurance or a pension, the funeral director can give you guidance in applying for those benefits.

If the decedent was a Free and Accepted Mason, his white lambskin apron for burial purposes. Any other organization oriented items that will be needed during visiting hours or the funeral ceremony

Any other information that you think the funeral director will need to arrange for the funeral.

Usually, the primary arranger feels most comfortable if someone else accompanies him to the arrangement conference. The funeral director will welcome anyone who accompanies you to the funeral home for the conference and he will assume that he can speak openly and candidly in front of that person as he discusses your options and alternatives.

At the time you actually meet with the funeral director, he will give you (and anyone who accompanies you) an opportunity to ask ANY QUESTION that you have prior to the beginning of the conference. Once he answers any question that is primarily on your mind, he will proceed to gather all the information that he needs to provide those services that you request.

If, at any time during the conference, the funeral director makes a comment or asks you a question that reminds you of another question, be sure to interrupt him and ASK YOUR QUESTION IMMEDIATELY. He will be able to go back to his questions easily and if you don't ask him, you might forget to ask altogether. It is ALWAYS best to ask IMMEDIATELY.

Ultimately he will gather from you (and perhaps from other sources that you provide) the information necessary for the:

Completion of the formal Death Certificate that must be filed with the State of New Jersey. The ORIGINAL DEATH CERTIFICATE will be completed by the funeral director, usually the decedent's attending physician and the Registrar of Vital Statistics in the town where the original certificate is filed.

Completion of a Funeral Director's Statement of Death to the federal Social Security Administration

Completion of your application for benefits from the federal and state Veterans' Administrations.

Completion of any other applications for benefits that you ask him to help you with, such as an application for the death benefit from, say, the N. J. State Exempt Fireman's Association.

Compilation and completion of information that will be used by the newspapers you choose as an obituary or for their classified death notice. (Newspapers use various forms and combinations of releases, often referred to as an obituary, a paid death notice or a funeral notice. Your funeral director will know the type of information needed for each local newspaper and will find out the format necessary for distant newspapers.) Any listing that you provide will be helpful but it IS NOT NECESSARY that you try to put the information in a form ready for publication as ALL newspapers rewrite the information that is released to them.

Completion of notices or forms that will be given to:

Your clergyman

Your cemetery administrator

Certain organizations that the decedent belonged to

Phone callers who call for information about services and ceremonies

During the discussion of these details, the funeral director will make notes about all the information you provide to him...the more accurate the information you provide, the more accurately he can pass that information along to anyone will needs to receive it.

The Arrangement Conference will progress to a point that it is time to discuss the services that the funeral home will charge you for, at (or before) that time, the funeral director is required by federal regulation to provide you with his General Price List, a listing of ALL the services that are commonly provided by the funeral home. This list must be in a printed or written form that you can take with you and he must offer it to you at the beginning of the discussion or PRIOR to the time that costs are discussed.

To compile the charges, the funeral director will use a form and will be able to complete much of it based on the information that you have already given him but he still doesn't know enough to complete it.

In addition to listing the services usually provided by the funeral home staff, he will discuss any services and goods that he is willing to assist you in purchasing, i.e., Cash Advances. Literally, he will not purchase them but he will advance the funds to purchase them and will bill you for reimbursement. Any item described as a Cash Advance Item must be charged on the funeral home's statement (bill) in EXACTLY the amount that the funeral home paid (on your behalf). As an example, if the funeral home pays an honorarium on your behalf to your clergyman of, say $150.00, the funeral home must not charge you more than it actually pays to the clergyman. The same goes for other services such as cemetery charges, newspaper charges, charges for certified copies of the original death certificate, gratuities, perhaps the use of a limousine...and any other item listed as a cash advance.

Finally, it will be necessary for you to select any necessary merchandise that you choose to purchase from the funeral home, such as the casket, outer burial enclosure (vault), cremation urn, clothing, printed stationery and register book and any other item that the funeral home describes as merchandise that it is willing to provide for you.

You will be given the opportunity to see and select the casket you choose to use along with any other merchandise that the funeral home can provide, such as the burial enclosure (via the use of models), stationery such as acknowledgement cards, prayer cards and memorial folders and a register book, floral arrangements and bronze or granite grave markers or monuments. If something is not offered to you, you should ask where the funeral home suggests you can obtain the item. If the funeral home can't provide exactly what you want, it can probably find that item (given appropriate time).

Finally, at the end of the Arrangement Conference, the funeral director is required to provide you with a signed copy of this estimated STATEMENT OF FUNERAL GOODS AND SERVICES SELECTED...a compilation, if you will, of all the services and goods that he plans to provide for you. SEE - Infosheet - Statement of Goods and Services Selected

In addition to this "estimate" the Ocean Grove Memorial Home will present to you an Agreement between you, the purchaser, and the funeral home (a contract signed by the funeral director and you) and a Promise to Pay (a promissory note from you to the funeral home) SEE Infosheet - Agreement and Promise to Pay...and ask for your signature on them along with any other authorization that we anticipate will be required, such as (but not limited to):

An authorization for the cemetery to dig the grave

An authorization for the crematory to cremate

A statement describing the properties of any unsealed burial container that you have chosen to purchase

Any other disclosure or statement that should be reduced to writing for the protection of all parties.

Before you leave the funeral arrangement conference, you should be in possession of a written estimate listing ALL the items that the funeral home is expected to provide for you and you should have answers to all your question...or an explanation why you don't have those answers and when you will be given them. Additionally, we will usually provide you with additional written information that you may review at a time that you can concentrate more...or ask someone else to review for you.

There is nothing that we want to hide from you...we want you to be well informed

...else we wouldn't publish this web site, would we.

An average Arrangement Conference will last from an hour and a half to two hours and usually depends on how prepared you and your family are to make necessary decisions. Occasionally more time is necessary if special services are to be arranged or if a variety of outside sources are to be consulted. Occasionally the conference is shorter, but usually not.

This conference always sets the stage for the activities of the next several days so be prepared to spend the time that it takes. If the funeral director rushes through this conference (or is rushed) he can't do a good job for you and your family.

Be prepared to ASK about anything...the funeral director will know the answer and discuss all your options and alternatives or he will find out for you and then discuss your alternatives.

Ultimately YOU will control the services of the funeral director, but it is always easier if you choose a knowledgeable and experienced funeral director, discuss with him what you want him to do then let him do his job...and remember that he wants you to be pleased with his services. It takes a special kind of person to be a funeral director...don't abuse him but DO USE his abilities and experience.

If you have any question about a funeral arrangement conference, you are invited to phone or e-mail us at an address shown at the top of this page.

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